LOVE & PAIN
For some of us, Love and Pain is an addictive chemical cocktail. Abusive relationships can become the norm if as children we are accustomed to fear and stress and the constant stimuli of our fight/flight/freeze responses. As we mature into adults we often look for love, approval and acceptance in all the wrong places, gravitating towards the partner who roughs us up, ignores us, treats us bad. The Good Guy or the Safe Chick is too 'boring' we tell ourselves, but what we are actually feeling is the absence of that 'hit' of cortisol, dopamine, adrenaline, glucose etc., that regularly flooded our childhood body during those formative years when we were constantly being yelled at, disrespected or abused by a parent or authority figure. The cells in our physical being still tingle with the memory, craving those hormonal imbalances, as well as the Drama of our unresolved Story. We are caught in the throes of that same state of high alert that warned us, for example, that when the footsteps creaked on the stairs and the key turned in the lock, it was our cue to run, hide, fight or resort to submission... or our survival would not be assured. When we are subconsciously programmed by such a state it becomes our constant reality, our zone of comfort, from which we make the worst possible decisions about relationships. Being aware of our life pattern originating from our Story, is the first step towards healing the source of our pain and suffering, and liberating ourselves from personal distortions about Love and Life.