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Image by Hush Naidoo Jade Photography

Take The Test

Have you experienced any kind of trauma or drama in your life?
Join the club! The Human Club!
Yet, no matter how much suffering you once experienced, you’re still here, today, reading these words. Which means that you’ve survived whatever took place.

Try to recall one of these past events. Does the memory still trigger a physical reaction in your body? If the answer is Yes, then the question has to be: can we not aim higher than simply surviving the past? Should we not be thriving, despite our past Story?

Take a long deep breath

Look below at the 70 Life Events and make a mental note of which ones apply to you.
As you’re going down the list notice which experiences cause your body to react.

You may be aware of subtle or not so subtle:

tension, tremors, heaviness, exhaustion, swallowing, palpitations, withholding of breath, or feelings of dread, fear, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, confusion or hopelessness.

(Of course, there may be other events from your life that you could add to the list…)

Life Events

1. A person in your life went missing
2. Abandonment by a parent
3. Being accused of something you didn’t do
4. Being burgled
5. Being called out as a coward/informant
6. Being exposed as a fraud
7. Being caught in an illegal/immoral act
8. Being forced to do something against your will
9. Being held against your will
10. Being ignored when you needed help/assistance
11. Being neglected
12. Being physically/emotionally/mentally/sexually abused
13. Being poisoned
14. Being responsible for the death/injury of another
15. Being robbed
16. Being shunned by your group/community
17. Being stalked / targeted 
18. Being tortured
19. Being unable to help or save someone
20. Bereavement
21. Birth of a sibling leading to feelings of jealousy/abandonment
22. Bullying
23. Car accident
24. Childbirth trauma
25. Death of someone close
26. Discovering you’re adopted / not a biological family member
27. Divorce
28. Eviction
29. Exam / test / sporting failure
30. Exposure to the elements - Snow, Wind, Rain, Fog, Cold, Heat, etc.
31. Failing in your official duty
32. Falling out with a family member/significant other
33. Financial loss/ruin
34. Fire devastation
35. Forced to leave home
36. Harm or illness affecting a sibling or significant other
37. Hijacking
38. Hospitalisation
39. Imprisonment
40. Industrial accident
41. Job loss
42. Lack of childhood nurturing
43. Long illness
44. Loss of an important object, eg. your childhood ‘noo-noo,’ a precious piece of
jewellery, etc.

45. Loss of home / home comforts
46. Loss of limb/sight/hearing/movement/body part
47. Lost / injured pet
48. Love betrayal
49. Natural disaster event eg. Hurricane, Flood, Fire, Storm, etc.
50. News – shocking, unexpected, out of the blue
51. Near-death event – eg. near-drowning
52. Near-starvation, or not having enough to eat
53. Operation - with or without medical complications
54. Parents arguing/fighting/using abusive language
55. Physical assault / injury
56. Plane fright
57. Public humiliation
58. Rape / molestation
59. Rejection by a loved one
60. Separation from someone or a group situation
61. Someone was harmed by you – intentionally, accidentally or innocently
62. Something important/special/significant was taken or stolen from you
63. Stranded in a foreign situation
64. Sudden unexpected death of a child/parent/pet
65. Temporary or permanent separation from a parent
66. Terminal/critical diagnosis
67. Terrorist attack
68. Unexplained absence of a loved one
69. Witness to an accident
70. Witness to violence - murder, rape, assault, abduction, etc

These visceral reactions you are experiencing are pointing to areas in your life where you are not yet Free; where you are unconsciously still holding onto events from the past.

 My son’s experience below is a perfect example of how seemingly long-buried Stories can invisibly imbed themselves into the fibres of our being and derail the life we are living today – until we acknowledge the depth and suppression of the suffering contained in the Story, and finally let it Go.


My son appeared to be the usual teenager - late lie-ins, untidy room, obsession with TV sports, passion for football, rowdy mates get-togethers, lazy around the home. At school his teachers all had the same refrain: ‘He’s a very bright boy and has all the potential to be an A* student… if only he would apply himself more.’ This was a change in behaviour that seemed to become noticeable around the time he was about to leave primary school.


It followed him through secondary school, and then to university where the academic focus, less on exams and more on practical assignments, meant that he could get away with doing as little work as necessary to remain on the course. During his third year, with the dawning realisation of adult working life looming, he began to reflect on his future and the worrying fact that no particular career seemed to inspire him. One day he asked me if he could have a healing session for his lack of motivation and ‘laziness’. I greatly admired the maturity and courage he showed in recognising his issue and wanting to address it rather than settling for a future life of ‘just getting by.’ 

During the session one prominent emotion and one significant belief showed up in his energy field - Grief and Effort Unreceived. Curiously, both of these were attached to a story about losing a football at age 10. There was also another story relating to Effort Unreceived that he inherited from me, as well as a further story of Grief involving a past life during which he’d lost his fingers in a sporting accident(!) After detecting these stories I deleted their energy and following the session, debriefed him on what came up. I began by asking, did you ever lose a football when you were 10 years old? He immediately sat up. ‘Don’t you remember, Mum? I’ve never forgotten about losing that ball, it’s like it was yesterday!’ He reminded me of the family trip we had taken to New York and the stroll down West 34th. We’d popped into Macy’s and his father had bought him a just-out Nike ball. An avid football fan and player, he was so proud of that shiny red trophy of his trip to America. On his first day back to school he showed it to his admiring classmates, then took it out into the playground at lunchtime for a play. One of the older boys sidled up to him, grabbed the ball out of his grasp and gave it an almighty kick, accidentally booting it out of the school playground into the adjoining woods. My son was distraught. Despite the boy and the school caretaker helping him to search among the trees and shrubbery, the ball was not to be found. It was lost forever. I vaguely remembered the story. At the time, a busy working mother, I imagine that I would have been more concerned about money wasted on an expensive ball he’d possessed for less than a week. I wasn’t a healer back then, and wasn’t to know that this was a significant and soul-destroying story that would imbed in my son’s cells, eat at his heart, and sap his energy for years to come.  Grief is a low vibration emotion. So too, is the belief of Effort Unreceived. The latter is a rationale that argues, ‘Why make an effort, why even try, when no matter what I do nothing works / I won’t get rewarded / no-one will notice? In other words, why bother, when whatever I do I will only end up losing my ball? The psychology of my son’s journey from optimistic, energetic, studious child to one who was de-energised and under-exploiting his potential made perfect sense! During the session he experienced many sensations including tingling in various parts of his body and white lights flashing behind his eyes. Afterwards, he felt calm and relaxed, even when thinking about the story. A few days following the healing he texted me from university: ‘Big difference in my energy levels!!! I’m up at 7.30am every day!! I feel a lot more positive and far more excited by things. Thank you, Mum, I really appreciate it.”

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